I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just invented taco cereal.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Randomize
