He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
