At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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