It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
