I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
