The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Randomize
