I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
It's never too late to be topless.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
PANTIES FOUND
Randomize