Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
