Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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