You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
no more duck duck goose at the bar
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
