bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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