We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
My vagina is officially offended.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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