we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
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