Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
