Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
