Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
