but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
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