Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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