I heard we made out
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
