You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize