there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize
