Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
