She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
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