Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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