Pants 0. Shit 1.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
How external is "for external use only"?
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
Randomize