All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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