I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize