She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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