smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
