Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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