i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
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