U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
