it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
