dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
