i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
