i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
