i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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