there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
