Christians are straight up FREAKS
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
we're so committed to being not committed
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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