I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
The cat just brought me a bottle opener. I think she's my soulmate.
I'd ask how but then you'd tell me.
Randomize
