you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
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