i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Sorry about my life...
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
