When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
