ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
