I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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