I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
