So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
