Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
