making cat noises will not fix the situation.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Randomize
