like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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