he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
