Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
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