She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
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