I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
