You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
