I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
