apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
