New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
