Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
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