Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
Randomize
