Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
I woke up and found a doughnut on our front porch. It's not sketchy though. More like a gift from the gods.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
Randomize
