i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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