1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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