I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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