I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
