Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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