Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
im drinking this country out of the recession.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
