I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
