dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
