Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
then he tried to convert me to islam
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
