I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
