Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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