I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We need to get me chipped asap
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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